I can’t believe I am awake. My sleep has been so screwed up this week. I am not sure why, but usually when I cannot sleep it is because something is bothering me.

I have always been one to hold something inside. Play it cool as if nothing is wrong. Never let yourself be vulnerable, at least not on the surface. Do your crying inside.

That kind of thinking eventually catches up with you. I know better, but old habits are really hard to break. Just like old friendships. You may no longer have anything in common. But, it is the history that keeps you coming back.

One plus to waking early is that I have seen some really great sunrises. However, that does not appear to be the case today. It is another grey day here in Minnesota. But the overcast and drizzly sky reflects my current mood. So it is appropriate.

I am thinking that over the next few days I will be turning over some big rocks here buried deep within in my mind. It is far better than tripping over them in the dark as I have been doing in recent days. There is need now to find what is hidden. I must grab the fleeting thoughts that tease and torment me and serve only to disturb my sleep. And I really need to sleep again.